I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
