It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
