I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
In America we eat man semen.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
