I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
