Small penises have feelings too.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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