The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
