I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize