I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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