I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I see more hoeing in ur future
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