after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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