Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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