I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
