btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
