I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize