Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
