Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize