Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
