I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
