Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
