You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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