Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think people are normalizing furries
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
