He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
