im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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