ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
