Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do herpes really smell.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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