...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I love you.
Bad choice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
