I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This baby is an asshole
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
