Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
