Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
