I just cut my nipple shaving
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
