Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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