lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
