Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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