And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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