The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
