Just fell off a train. Bad.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize