It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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