Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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