great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
