Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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