Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
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