If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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