If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
