He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
