from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
