yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
