Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
