Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
