My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
