Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
