You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
tell me about the fingering
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
