Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
