Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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