I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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