We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Randomize
