I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
