Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
