Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
