He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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