...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my shit smells like andre
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
