Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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