I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
