I just made out with a guy for $7.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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