I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
