im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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