I think I died a long time ago.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
